A modest proposal

Revised letter to the editor, submitted to info@northernexpress.com Monday, July 17, 2023.

On Monday, Traverse City Commissioners banned alcohol in forested areas encompassing homeless encampments around the Grand Traverse Commons. Locals may recall another time in history when alcohol was presumably banned within the Commons complex, when it was known as the Traverse City Regional Psychiatric Hospital. The Commons is now host to Left Foot Charley Winery, Pepenero/Ballaro Wine Lounge, Earthen Ales Taproom & Brewery, and several alcohol-serving restaurants.

Michigan officials have effectively displaced vulnerable people into the outlying forest and in between boozy parties in the privatized facilities that used to serve those vulnerable people, they have criminalized the consumption of the same substance in the forest where the displaced now precariously reside. A move this bold should not be overlooked.

I therefore propose that the discussion and passage of this ordinance be re-enacted in an alcohol-serving establishment at the Commons, where a special serving staff will be recruited from the forest encampment. After the ordinance is approved, this special staff will then be ritually stripped, tarred, feathered and chased back into the woods by a merry mob, with a firm reminder not to possess or consume any more alcohol out there.

Letter to the editor, submitted to info@northernexpress.com Saturday, July 15, 2023.

Reply received Monday, July 17, 2023: It appears commissioners will be voting on this issue tonight. Will you want to revise based on their decision?

Traverse City Commissioners are reportedly considering banning alcohol in the area encompassing a homeless encampment immediately east/southeast of the Grand Traverse Commons. Area residents may recall another time in history when alcohol was presumably banned within the Commons complex itself, which was once known as the Traverse City Regional Psychiatric Hospital. The Commons is now host to Left Foot Charley Winery, Pepenero/Ballaro Wine Lounge, Earthen Ales Taproom & Brewery, and several alcohol-serving restaurants.

Michigan officials have effectively displaced vulnerable people into the adjacent forest and in between boozy parties in the privatized facilities that used to serve those displaced, officials now consider whether to criminalize the consumption of the same substance in the forest where the displaced now precariously reside.

I therefore propose that the vote to adopt this ordinance be held in an alcohol-serving establishment at the Commons, where a special serving staff will be recruited from the forest encampment. After the ordinance is approved, this special staff will then be ritually stripped, tarred, feathered and chased back into the woods by a jeering mob, with a firm reminder not to drink any more alcohol out there.