พิธีมงคลสมรส (Wedding Ceremony)

Studying the customs and rituals in Thai wedding ceremonies would have spoiled the element of surprise. Better to walk in without preconception or particular expectations, a tabula rasa for the day’s experiences, I reasoned.

The setting for the rites would be familiar: my fiancée’s family home. And it was, at first. We had visited before and I’d been introduced to most of the residents in a couple small blocks of households, most of which were inhabited by members of her extended family.

Local threads

Pickup and flatbed trucks began arriving with various items. One had chairs and tables. Then came a truck with impressively large speakers. We left for town to rent clothing for the evening’s ceremonies.

The bridal shop looked archetypical from the street, its storefront presenting mannequins behind glass wearing wedding dresses and tuxedos. We were expected. My fiancée chose a dress and began working with a shop attendant to take measurements and fit the dress properly.

A tuxedo was selected to complement the dress and an attendant took my dimensions. My fiancée had subsequent hair and makeup treatments. I became conscious of the fact that we would never look like this again.

Transformations

The side street in Ban Malaa (บ้านมาลา) was no longer recognizable as such, as some 40 tables were now distributed in courtyards and on the street itself, which was closed to vehicular traffic. Although we had been away for a short time, it seemed everyone had arrived and was awaiting our return.

We walked through an archway and began visiting each table, greeting relatives and friends. Invariably, a man at the table would offer me a shot of high proof rice liquor. To decline seemed impolite—all the more so after having been observed accepting the last offer by whatever man was preparing the next pour.

I wobbled to my place in front of a large drop cloth and a special sign that had been made to commemorate the event. We sat on a rug on a tile floor I had helped install, in a traditional pose that caused me considerable physical pain within minutes.

Speaking in tongues

We sat in a circle with children and held rolled up banana leaves between the palms of our hands, which we placed together flat in the traditional gesture of the supplicant. A ceremonial white string connected all the rolls of banana leaves.

Elders recited prayers and I was led through mine in listen and repeat fashion, uttering words that were unintelligible to me but unmistakable in meaning.

When this ritual was complete, we seated ourselves on chairs at a table where wedding guests took turns bringing gifts and offering blessings upon our union.

We stayed in our formal wear through dinner, then changed at last into comfortable and casual clothing for drinking and dancing that lasted deep into the night.

The universal language

A couple of days after the wedding we disembarked via bus for a brief honeymoon trip. Later we would visit the government office near where we lived to register our marriage with the authorities.

All of this took place in a tropical climate on the opposite side of the earth from where I was born. None of it seemed strange or out of place.

Not even me.